My name is Adam Reeder. I’m a freelance writer, and this blog is a place for us all to commiserate on what it means to be a man. Being an adult can be difficult. Being a “grown-up” is much harder. This is especially true for men because we are inherently stupid. Apparently when God gave us superior upper body strength, he used brain tissue to fill the gaps. I’m still trying to find my grownup sea legs. If you don’t know the difference between being an adult and being a grown-up, allow me to illuminate you.An adult is anyone who has reached the ripe old age of 18 years of age. It’s a simple biological and chronological state. You don’t really have to do anything to be considered an adult, other than…not die. A grownup is an entirely different animal. Kids think all adults are grown-ups. They are not. In fact most adults these days don’t become grownups until somewhere around retirement age, which I believe is 92 ½ years. I can’t be sure what the actual retirement age is, because I myself am not a grown-up. In researching this topic I came across what I thought would be a great resource. I was looking for source materials on what it means to be a grown-up and found a film made by a highly regarded documentarian by the name of Adam Sandler. The documentary was called “Grown Ups”, and I was certain it would give me all the information I would need. It did not. (62% Rotten Tomatoes? That’s a bit generous.) Since I don’t want to waste your time with the rudimentary information I gleaned from said film, I will give you a basic rundown of what it means to be an adult man vs. a grown-up man.
- Adult men have their oil changed. Grown-up men change their own oil (without saying Ew! So Slimy!”)
- Adult men shave their face (or trim their beard/mustache.) Grown-up men shave their face (or trim their beard/mustache) without accidentally piercing their jugular because they were simultaneously practicing the hottest touchdown dance of the early 90’s, “The Icky Shuffle.”
- Adult men save money for retirement. Grown-up men do so via non-baseball card, comic book, or beanie-baby based investments.